We're off to see the wizard...

Seriously? I thought at first, maybe a fashion student gone astray, but no. Business woman run amok. So, leprechaun? oompah loompah? little green people from the Wizard of Oz? Please no. Business suit with green tights and shiny gold shoes does not scream business to me. Is it meant to be the fashion equivalent of the mullet: business in the front, party in the back. Although here, i guess it's business on the top, party on the bottom. Ok, no. Wrong on soooo many levels. Repeat after me: "I will never again wear these God-awful shoes with anything, much less bright kelly green tights." Amen.

Who wants to look fat? Anyone, anyone,...Bueller?

Ok, so admittedly, the photo quality is crap, but the point shall be made. The 2-waisted top paired with tight jeans--clearly a fashion no-no. Why? you ask. Well, here's my question for you--does it accentuate a trim tummy or does it make her the look square-bellied? With an empire-waisted top and a drop-waisted bottom, she actually looks like she has no waist. How is that flattering? Not to mention the top ends with a flounce that is totally unnecessary. So, I could discuss the exposed bra straps, but maybe we can leave that for another day. Sigh. Come on New York, you can do better. Chin up little camper!

Idea

So, I have been turning over an idea in my head and am looking for comments. Ok, so, this blog has definitely made the point that there are sooooo many out there in desperate need of makeovers. Obviously, this is a limited medium where I don't accost people in the streets, i just surreptitiously take their photo and dissect the fashion issues I see. But what if there was a way to interact directly with people to address their fashion faux pas? I've been thinking of having a booth at one of the ubiquitous NYC street fairs offering free fashion advice. Of course, I have no credentials to brag about, but what if real stylists, makeup artists, hair professionals and the like were to staff this booth. It would make a great promotional event for a website or magazine focused on fashion and style. Hmmmm. Can i patent this idea before someone steals it? I saw a couple people today that I thought about accosting, but I just don't think they would appreciate me coming up to them to say, "hey, your hair looks like straw. go get some serious conditioning treatments and think about either accepting your natural curls or cutting off the dead mess you have now." Clearly, useful advice, and yet I fear it would not be well received. Hmmmm.

Beauty is skin-deep?

even guys are sending in pics.  Don't make me call you out, ladies!  You know the deal.  Send me pics.  I can't catalogue the whole of this city without your help, ladies and gentlemen!

This shot on the right was taken by a complete stranger who found my blog on the internet by chance and has become a faithful reader.  Ok, so I might be married to him, but the details are murky.

Just look at our specimen on the right.  Ok, can you tell where her legs end and her shoes begin?  If it weren't for the slit in the back of the skirt, you probably couldn't tell the difference there either.  

Don't get me wrong.  I totally understand the whole, "take care of your skin, wear lots of sunblock" campaign, but that doesn't mean try to match your clothes to your skin tone.  It's one thing to match your hosiery to your skin tone.  I mean, how often does that package of "nude" pantyhose actually look "nude"?  It's a stretch for most of us.  Although, frankly, I'm sorta anti the whole hosiery deal.  But that's just me.

So, how can we fix this?  Well, in the future, I would recommend either purchasing clothes and shoes at least a tad bit different than your actual skin tone or using a self-tanner.  No, I am not suggesting going orange on me, but there are actually some nice ones out there that can give you a gradual tan.  It could help.

Now, in general, I like the color of her skirt and shoes-a beautiful, sophisticated color.  This is the problem that creeps up on a lot of us.  We like a certain color, but when we put it on ourselves, it does not like us.  For me, it tends to wash me out when I wear certain colors not complementary to my skin tone.  That's why it is important to remember that it isn't about the trend, but about what looks best on you, regardless of the trend.  Good luck and happy hunting, my friendly spies!

xxoo, Red

'Mini'-mize the damage

nyc, you are not alone in making bad fashion faux pas.  Thanks to a certain cousin of mine upstate, we have a pic showcasing that (for me at least) all too familiar upstate bar culture. Note the drink in the foreground.

You know, in general, I recommend heels for most of us.  They help our posture, boosting our 'ass'ets, lengthening our legs and giving us some incredible calves.  

...but... 

(Oh come on.  You knew there was a but coming.)  Yeah, I could point out the pun, but even I'm getting annoyed with them.

Ok, back on point.  So, the frayed denim mini.  Well, I'll give you that it is definitely a look.  Not good, but a look all the same.  Here's the deal, it doesn't really matter her size (well, unless she was super tiny) it's so unflattering.  I'm picturing a Betty Boop moment here.  Not in a flattering way, either.  Just way too much real estate exposed here that it looks a little cheap.  Ouch.  Sorry.  Even I cringe to say that because heaven knows I've been there.  But, really, it's not showing her off to her best advantage.  Now, I get it.  You're at a bar.  You're not going for the ladylike trophy of the night, but at the same time you want to be noticed for the right reasons.  We could get all personal here, but suffice it to say that this look sucks.  Keep the heels, pair the loose top with some great skinny jeans and you hit the mark--sexy, cool and stylish.  If you choose to go the mini route, I advise caution.  Check and recheck that full length mirror from many different angles.  Hey, keep 'em guessing.

xxoo, Red

Peeping shoes?

hi there, she says sheepishly.  I know. I know.  It's been too long, but never fear, the pictures are piling up and I have to spread the love.  

Just to allay any rumors, no, I wasn't in fashion rehab for my atrocious workout gear.  It's been a rough time for me and workout clothes, but we are "working" things out.  ...in other words they are ugly, but I refuse to buy new until I see some damn-tastic results.  

So, let's deal with our latest victim over to the right.  (Sigh) Ok, let's be clear, loooving the peep toes, but do we have to go sooo granny with the look?  I think not.  Also, in general, loooove mary janes, but with the peep toe, chunky heel and platform deal it's just way too much look for one pair of shoes.

Now, I love shoes, to the detriment of my feet some days, but let's put some boundaries on this love.  It is great to get some fun trendy shoes, but maybe one trend showcased per pair.  Dare we?  

I was going to go ahead and publish, but let's talk about when to wear black shoes.  If you notice her dress has a lot of browns and tans in it.  Hello, perfect opportunity to wear brown shoes.  Is that a little too obvious?  Well, it is after Memorial Day (for any of us going old school), so she could also go with a beige/ecru color, or some of my favorites are the metallics--particularly the coppers and bronzes.  Ooohh, purrr.  The black just makes it look a little too functional.  Maybe institutional?  Isn't that the look we're all trying to achieve--institutional?  Ouch.  Hope not.  

xxoo, Red

I "Do's"

how about a few "do's" for a change?  yeah?  

i know the whole shtick is to look for examples of what not to do, purely for their instructive value.  (read: really funny and unbelievable that people would actually do some of these things).

anyhoo...here are a few recent favs:

No, seriously.  i like this look, especially as we near the beginning of the summer.  Plus, how many of us have all these summer sundresses that we are itching to wear right now?  Ok, if you 

have actual itches, maybe you should get that checked out, but if you are one of those people who understand metaphors, you get me.  Look, that's just how i roll.  All puns, all the time.  God help me.

Ok, so you might wonder why the nightgown catches my fancy.  Well, let's be real.  This look doesn't work for everyone.  If you are petite and full-figured, this isn't the look you want to go with.  but for those with more willowy figures, this looks really sweet and fun, without being overly precious or too young--note the close-fitting jeans and boots.  Love it.  Plus the cute gathered cap sleeves are so great.  In general, I find these to be adorable on most everyone, unless they are too tight that they cut off your circulation and give you that oh, so elusive Popeye look.  don't go there.

Here's another fav:  THOSE SHOES!!!

How cute, right?  If you aren't in agreement, I respect your right to dissent, but you might want to rethink it.  Obviously, you wouldn't pair these with your leopard print full-length suit, that might be overkill.  But, with a monochrome outfit, how about this for a little fun.  I mean, come on, does it kill you to show some personality in your dress from time to time?  Honestly, the black needs a break.  It told me it was ready for a little caribbean vaca.  It also told me that it wants me to come along and give it some fashion therapy.  So, I'll expect that ticket any day now....

I'm waiting....

So, you're still not buying it, huh?  Well, then at least go for some fun shoes this summer.  Notice too, these have a great gold medallion on them.  I've seen a few of you wearing similar.  If you believe that imitation is the highest form of flattery, maybe you'll be so kind as to post where you found them.  Or you can choose to be selfish....  Your choice.  I'm waiting....

I actually have a few more pics, but I'll save them for another day when we've had enough of the sad ones.

xxoo*, red

*=comment, dammit